From condoms to fruits

Dear Australian supermarkets,

Please stop overpricing your papayas outrageously. RM20 for a small, unripe little green ball is ridiculous. Also, please stock rambutans and mangosteens for reasonable prices. Also, I would like to request tasty mango, not those pathetic unripe abominations that sit under the white paper sign labelling them as "Mangos". Those are not mangos. Those are sins. Please purchase a ticket to Malaysia, and proceed to buy and taste the mangos there. Those are mangos. Those are divinity incarnated as a fruit.

Also, in case I lost you in my first sentence, what I call a 'papaya' is what you call 'pawpaws'. Don't ask me why I use a clearly superior title for these heavenly fruits. Rather, ask yourselves why you insist on using such a stupid name for such respectable fruits.

Thank you for your time. I hope you will take into consideration everything I've written and come to the conclusion that I am right and you are wrong. Good day.

Yours truly,
A very cranky, fruit-starved Malaysian.