I HATE BLOGGER

I HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGER
I HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGER
I HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGER
I HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGER
I HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGER
I HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGER

...I love being a Christian, Kudos to Julian, tango Satan, blah blah blah.

I HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGER
I HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGER
I HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGER

the bubbles on top of my milo looks so pretty....

Fudge it. I typed out a long post and got it deleted by accident. Fudge.

I am completely healthy. Just need to relax and rest more.

3 happy things today

1. I am completely healthy. HAHA TO YOU, DIABETES!
2. Milo + cereal squares = love
3. Almost mastered D chord on guitar. just need to press a little harder to stop buzzing.

I have a something to confess. It's kind of a secret I've been keeping to myself for some time...frankly, I was a little ashamed of myself. I mean, I never thought I would...feel this way. But I've come to terms with it. So I shall share it with you guys.

I love Phil Collins's music. =O

I know. I know. "OMG YOU LIKE OLD MEN SONGS AHHA SUCKER"

But it's not MY fault he makes such awesome songs. Harumph. So many classics from this awesome man. So many original ands covers that I love.

My mama said
You cant hurry love
No, you'll just have to wait
She said love don't come easy
It's a game of give and take...

Ladies and gentlemen, I've made a record today. I took - guess how long - to shower today. Take a guess. My usual one hour? No. 40 minutes? Nope. 30? Nah. 15? YES!
Yes, I somehow managed to take only 15 minutes to shower today. That's only...1/4 of my usual showering time. Someone high five me and my awesomeness.

It's getting hotter here. Right now, since it's nighttime, it's a nice coolish-warm temperature. But earlier in the afternoon, it was drier and warmer. Ick.

I'll get my blood test results back on Thursday. I dunno whether I'm hoping that it's all ok, or there's something wrong.

PROS of the day:

• 15 MINUTES!
• Not so cold
• I think - think - my old pop bought me a PS3 today! Cause he called me, and asked me what our TV brand was. He wanted to see whether he should buy the additional cables for the PS3 for HDMI thinggy-winggy. I am so pathetic when it comes to HDTV or whateverHDMIisrelatedto.
• Went for a good walk with Rachel in the park today. Doggies everywhere! Yay! One doggy came up to me and licked my hand, and was so friendly and happy, and jumped on me. <3

CONS of the day:

• Kinda hot. :(
• School tomorrow
• My laptop is dying. My faithful, trustworthy baby has been getting more and more errors and problems lately. Yesterday, the screen suddenly went black. Then, white, green and red pixels begin slowly and steadily appearing. It was kinda cool looking actually, but it freaked me out. My laptop is already nearing 4 years old, so I'm quite proud of its life and its service. All hail my great laptop. It deserves to finally rest. The problem, however, is me getting another laptop...old pop wouldn't like dishing out extra cash after buying me a PS3. :(
• School tomorrow
• School tomorrow
• School tomorrow

Goodnight.

I feel constantly tired. Every morning I wake up, instead of feeling refreshed, I feel like I've carried over yesterday's baggage. Everything I do just makes it worse. Everything I don't do makes it worse.

I feel so tired so often. Not every day. Some days I'm okay. But for the past few months, it's more often that I feel so fatigued than me feeling energetic. Nothing wakes me up. Loud music, my favorite show, playing the piano, going for a jog. Not even sugar.

I really am to tired to do anything. Even just thinking makes me tired. Talking soothes me a bit, but I always need a reprieve soon after that. Studying is just so hard. I find my mind wandering, and I can't concentrate on anything. It takes me hours to do something that sould only take 15 minutes.

I don't know what's wrong with me. Rachel's going to take me to the doctor tomorrow to see what she (yay for female doctors) says. I have a feeling she's just going to say that I need to sleep more. Or eat healthier. Or something that I already am trying to do.

This will sound stupid, but I want the doctor to diagnose something more serious. Like anemia. Or diabetes (which I'm actually at risk of getting since my grandpop has it). Or even depression. Anything. Cause then I'll know I'm not just a pathetic loser.

I really hate this. Whatever this is. I lie down to rest for just a few seconds, rise up and realize that hours has passed. And I'm still tired.

My sleep is always heavy, yet disturbed. No noise can wake me up, but I just find myself waking up constantly in the middle of night for no reason. No nightmares, no noises, nothing. I just wake up for no reason.

Typing is easy though. Hahahah. Like second nature already.

Time really depresses me. It passes so quickly, yet I never seem to get anywhere during it. I'm reading a passage, and takes me five minutes just to finish a sentence. My sleeping hours just seem so short. Despite the fact that I often lie in for, like, 12 hours on the weekends. It doesn't seem enough.

I have so little motivation to do anything. Most of what I do is either a necessity, or because I'm forcing myself to. I'm just too tired to want anything.

I never had headaches before this year. Seriously. I was so awesome that way. :) But this year, especially in the past few months, I've been getting them more frequently. I just want them to go away.

I'm just so tired. I really miss my dad nowadays. I don't know...I just wish he was here. He use to sing me a lullaby before I sleep. Chinese lullaby. Hah...it was kinda funny, but peaceful at the same time. I never once fell asleep while he was singing though. It wasn't sleep-inducing. It just calmed me and told me that he was there.

I want to sleep. I want to cry. I want to laugh. All at the same time. I don't know what's wrong with me. Hopefully, the doctor tomorrow will.

F.I.R. IS AWESOME!

WO DE WEI XIAO NI MING BAI JIU HEN HAO.

...:)

(oh gosh i'm lame)

I think my dad likes this band also, cause I remember hearing him play some songs before. I think.

Maybe I can persuade him to buy the CDs. He probably will agree anyway...he approves of me learning Chinese in any way possible. Heheheheheheheheh.

WO YAO FEI

WHEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

~~~high on life~~~

okay, I have no idea how to add a freaking shoutbox

the tutorial thinggy (http://www.shoutmix.com/main/help.php?view=Guides/blogger) says some rubbish about page elements. But I don't get that page. It brings me to the Edit Html page instead.

WHAT DO I DO, GUYS?

regrettable paris

I hate checking people's blogs. I really hate it. I hate reading all the posts, long or short, and seeing the pictures. Especially the pictures.
a
Every post that details what happened during the day and every picture that shows what happened is a spoonful of misery for me.

No, nothing bad happened today. Everything went jolly fine, in fact. Mom didn't nag, Mom and Rachel didn't argue, I managed to get some work done, I cleaned up my laptop a bit, had fun on the piano, the whole nine yards. I'm not even listening to emo music. Unless you somehow think disco music is emo. In which case, you suck.

But reading the blogs...made me mournful.

Change.
change.
changE
cHANGe.

In all forms, in all styles, the word scares me. The very thought of it frightens me. I use to be afraid of it affecting me. Now, not so much.

But change that occurs without me being there to witness it...that is my new fear.

I miss everyone. I miss Nina. She's gone to Idaho now. Who the heck lives in Idaho. I forgot it was even a state. Now I just have to meet a person from Wyoming, and I can die peacefully. Somewhat.

Aunty Sharon got married! Good Lord, MARRIED. About time. She looked so pretty...in the photos.

So many things. So many changes. Weddings, farewells, birthdays, everything. And I'm not there to see it happen.

Even for people I don't know. Who I don't know because I'm not there.

Haha, mock emo post. It sounds a lot more emo than I really am.

But yeah, a lot of regrets. Moments of regrets snowballing into a lifetime of regret. Lost opportunities, bad choices and mistakes, broken dreams and hopes. Already at fourteen, the realization of half-failure and half-victory has sunken in. I will not achieve all of my dreams. I have lost many golden, shining opportunities for me to bloom and blossom. I lie here, now, pondering as to what to do.

One door shuts, another opens. But I must switch off the TV, get off the couch, and make my way towards the door before anything can happen.

I have so many dreams and wishes. And I, with my own foul choices, have broken so many of them. It is too late to fix them.

Now, this is an emo post. Bah.

On the brighter side, I'm trying to add a shoutbox. Wait up, people, and get ready to chat away in a wee-little box!

gah

stress la wei.

~_~

all my teachers decided to make this coming week the DUE DATE WEEK for everything. I got a history oral presentation + history essay to pass up tomorrow, science test tomorrow, Systems oral presentation + brochure on tuesday, and geography powerpoint/movie thing on Wednesday.

WHY??????????

I really am doomed lah. I need another 500 more words for my history essay. WHICH IS DUE TOMORROW. I think I can manage to finish it tonight lah, if I cram a bit. But then I'll have no time for my Science revision. and there an entire section of Science that I have not read at all, thus have no idea about. I AM SCREWED

God help me. aiyo, aiyo, aiyo, AIYOOOOOO! STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

:( Okay, I need to vent now lah. After this blogpost, I continue studying then. CAUSE I'M SUCH A GOOD, HARD-WORKING GIRL. WHOSE PARENTS DON'T APPRECIATE.

bah. i'm cranky right now.

On Friday, I got my math's test result back. I got an A. It's the best result in Maths i ever got. I'm more of a C student in maths. So I was reaallly happy, you know...cause C to A is a nifty jump. My mom found out, and then asked me what my percentage was.
"80%"
"80% only??? ~_~"
Gah. I know it's not the best mark that I could've gotten, and that I should've studied harder. BUT STILL! "A"! Come on...some credit is in order here. Maths is my worst subject, and my mom can't even congratulate my first A.

Okay, I'll shut up about my grades now.

Two most exxxcellent news. Wait, three.

1) The holidays is coming up! next next week!
2) my birthday is coming up! Monday, first week of holiday! 24th! Did you guys remember? DID YOU???
3) I have only, like, 5-6 more PE lessons. THEN NO MORE FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVEERRRRRR!!! HURRAH! THERE IS A LOVE! THERE IS A HOPE! THERE IS JUSTICE AND FAIRNESS AND AWESOMENESS FOR ONE AND ALL!!!!

Oh, and Soph is back in Malaysia. I feel sad. Very sad. I only managed to see her twice while she was here, but twice was enough to hang out with my old buddy again.

I DEDICATE THIS PORTION OF THIS BLOGPOST TO SOPHIRA CHONG YU FUN.
Sophira Chong. Yu Fun. Scary girl. Very scary. Sometimes you want to poke her in the eye, but you always restrain yourself. Awesome blossom person. Managed to somehow remain sane despite how many times I've ranted and vented to her. Morally strong. No, seriously.
I've never argued with her before. No, wait, I have. But I've never fought with her before. Actually, I haven't fought with anybody for a long time. Haha. But yeah, during the years of our friendship (only two years, right? though we sorta knew each other for longer, we were only close friends for two...), we've disagreed and teased each other peacefully. DO WE ROCK OR DO WE RAWK?
She has awesome shirts. Shoes also. But HOODIE SHIRTS MAN! HOOODIIIEEE! Awesome person to play a piano duet with. Why? Because she somehow makes you laugh despite how panicked and stress you are. (remember our introductory octopus arm wave, and your shirt measuring the keyboard?)
Sometimes you want to strangle her and get her to see your point of view/argument/problem. But in the end, you realize that you should just shut up and that no one cares about your geekly habits anyway.

Sophira Chong. Sophy-pophy. Soph Soph. SOOOOPHEEE. SOAP. lei hai fei zhai. I dunno how to spell lah.
Friend. Ally. Future mother of my future daughter-in-law (REMEMBER THE ARRANGE MARRIAGE AH! WYATT NEEDS A WIFE!). Sister. Stress-rant-bag. Silly-billy-goo-goo. Friend.

/end post dedication.

I should start writing post dedicated to mah friends. Good way to waste time and boost other people's ego.
I'll go one on Nina, Ms Cath, Vonn, Sarah...hmm...and other people lah. Too lazy to list you all. But yes, all of my kor kors and jie jies in the Siblinghood with get a separate post. ALL 6 OF MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS! <3

and then my other friends, who are equally awesome blossom. aiyo. So many. Now blogposting is making me stress. ~_~

Time to go stressing over history essay.

REMEMBER MY BIRTHDAY, YOU HALF-WITS! Hug Hug Hug.

I HATE WRITING HISTORY ESSAYS

)=

...

D=

bow wow wowwwwww

howdy!

something awesome happened today.

it's not really an event lah. but...my piano was suddenly so awesome.

kinda hard to say. but like, I watched a WHOLE bunch of piano videos on youtube, from Bleach songs to Final Fantasy, to Chinese rock arrangements...

some people are TOTALLY awesome. Like, their fingers fly everywhere and they're so poised and skilled.

but others...well...

I will just say that I am better than the average pianist. I'm not trying to brag. Okay, maybe I am. hahaha. I'm still not a good pianist, but slightly better than average.

But everyone, like, has bouncy fingers. I have non-bouncy fingers. I have stone fingers.

so, I played the piano just now. from watching ze videos, I picked up the bouncy-fingerness. It's totally AWESOME!

I never had so much fun on the piano in such a long time. I mean, I made a ton of mistakes as usual, but it was so much less painful than normal. cause normally, my fingers BANG the keys and it really hurts. It's sort of a habit lah.

but with the bouncing thing...it was so much funner. and i could play things slightly faster too!

and when I made a mistake, it wasn't so bad...because it didn't hurt as much, and I was having so much fun.

and another awesome thing? all throughout my playing, i was sitting up straight. we all know i got very bad hunchback lah, but somehow, while I was playing, I sat straight. Not pole straight lah, that'd be gay. but straight enough to look only very slightly hunchback. SCORE!!!!

and time really flew when I played. i was having so much fun that the minutes went by and I didn't even noticed. I played for an hour and half, 90 minutes, 1 1/2 hours NONSTOP. not even toilet/food breaks!

it was really awesome. I dunno. I felt like...seriously. it was just fun. i fell in love with all the pieces i play again. i learned how to play the piano again. I learned how to have fun with the piano again.

SCORE!!!!

now imagine if I had a grand piano. *droooooool* <3<3<3<3

I've never played on a grand piano before. never even sit before one before.

but nevermind. Plonk, my mighty electric piano, will serve me well for now. And I have played it well today.

score!

Hugs!

OH AND I KNOW HOW TO PLAY THE BEGINNING GUITAR PARTS OF 'INEVITABLE' BY ANBERLIN!!!!! <3<3>

swoosh swoosh

AHAHAHAHAHA

MY ENGLISH TEACHER SAID THAT I'M A GOOD DIARY WRITER

AHAHAHAHAHAHA

<3

AHAHAHAHAHAH

cause, like, for the current novel we're working on, "Animal Farm", we have to choose some projects to do, four in total. I chose one where I have to write the diary of a cynical donkey. xD

When I told her that, she commented, "Alright, you're a good diary writer."

And I was all "O_o"

Last semester, we had to write another essay thing. I chose to do a diary one, and she liked it.

Thus.

I am a good diary writer.

....pity I'm a bad blog writer. =/

<3

*chocolate milk, chocolate milk, chocochocochoco milk!*

Okay, so I need to do this poster design thing for my Visual Communication Skills (let's just call it Art. ~_~) subject. I...can't draw. :(

Oh, and the holidays passed...AND I FORGOT ABOUT MY BLOG! =O Bugger...was meaning to change ze layout...I want it styled after my foobar2000. Incidentally, my foobar2000 is also incomplete. ~_~ FAIL!

Hug!

harlo

RANDOM POST!

WAKAKKA!

YES I AM ALIVE

NO I WILL NOT UPDATE

WHAHAHA

STRAWBERRY MILK = <3

WOOT!

i want to learn Chinese so I can sing along with Chinese songs lah. haiyo.

ni si pen tan. okay, I dunno lah. my mom tried to teach me how to say "you are stupid." I think I got it wrong. but something like that. I can't remember. har har.

okay. so I dunno when Soph is going to burn down my house. =/ I'm scared.

is she here yet? aiyer, school already gonna start and she's still not here. what nonsense man.

oh, my mom is thinking of working again. =O
dunno whether that's a good thing.
either way, I shall be supportive. Go mommy! <3

She says that the money she earns is her own pocket money. D=
guess that means I get nothing. geez. I oughta get a percentage of her earnings. like, 100%. pfft.

aaahhh....hug!

this is the correlation of salvation and love

bleh. feeling crappy.

it's just one of those days where while not EVERYTHING goes wrong, certain things just make your world crumble down pathetically.

i just want to hide under my covers, and never ever wake up. the world is such a scary place. i want to give up so badly.

can i?

please?

hello? hello?
alone. alone.

this is the end of everything I feel. is anyone out there who shares my pain?

depression is an unholy ghost.

is anybody out there? broken promises are left for lesser knowns and lost causes.

i just want to stop the world for a while, lie down in the middle of nowhere, a ROAD, or DISNEYLAND, or the INTERSTATE TOLL, or ANYWHERE, and just do nothing. Everything is passing by in a blur, with me not moving and missing everything: life.

I have a deep longing for life. A longing for life, more of it, like what Christ came to give us. Yet at the same time, a desire for death. a slumber that i can never ever be disturbed from. no alarm clocks to wake me.

i need to rest. I need time. Give me time. Give me hope. Time is hope.

tumbleweeds, darling, define my life. alone alone. hello hello?

I feel out of place. I feel...like a puzzle piece that doesn't belong to this particular picture. I just won't fit.
I don't belong here. Or anywhere, come to think of it. So then, perhaps I am at where I belong?

Anywhere, anywhere...
but anywhere...would be so much better, nicer, easier, lovelier...if you were all by my side. Or I at all your sides. That's where I belong: at the sides of my friends.

I've...got your back if you've got my hand.

Anything - as long as I'm with you guys - is nothing. Anywhere - as long as I'm with you guys - is okay.

But I'm not with you guys.

i need a hug. I need the sun. there's cold frost sweeping in over my heart - freaking weather -

i need to go to youth fellowship again. ~_~
need fellowship. need guidance towards God.

i wish I had some support. some guidance. someone HERE to nudge me along, reprimand my mistakes, praise my accomplishments, advise my situations. someone to hug me and let me know that they've got my back.

who.am.i? why.am.i.here?

hello hello?
alone. ALONE.

Man. I fiddled around with the customizing template thinggy. And it's hard. =/

Eh, whatever. I'll fiddle more another time. Time to go waste time F5-ing #gamemp3s.

Howdy

Random post. Proper one regarding Eminence coming who-knows-when.

Currently 12:39AM. Started studying at 4:30PM. Want to die at the moment.

Religion Outcome tomorrow. Regarding homosexuality. Not prepared. I cry.

Scholarship test Saturday. Not prepared. I cry.

Math Algebra test Thursday. Semi-prepare. I panic.

FUNKY SONG PLAYING RIGHT NOW, I GROOVE! Seriously, this song pwns. "Dreams of an Absolution"

But, yeah, stressing out and what am I doing? Blogging. Jeez. I fail at priorities.

Prayers would be appreciated. =) As always.

In school, somebody randomly called out to me "HEY YOU!" It was a boy from the St Kevins College. Cause, like, my school is having some musical/play thinggie (Pajama Game. Roflcopterz), and so cause obviously there has to be SOME MALLEESSS, they're here rehearsing. Funky.

Pajama Game seems to be coming out seriously nicely. Like, I can hear ze ensemble playing, and I'm just thinking "Wow, they should play some videogame songs. So pro, man." Really, sounds so pro. Heugh! AmaZING.

Okay. I part now. But now I make a vow: PRIORITIES.

That was a sucky vow. Lemme make another one.

PWNAGE OF SELF.

there. does that make sense? No? meh, I'm tired. give me a break. Oh, and look forward to some major blog designing. In...maybe...a few months...=)

HAPPINESS LIES TRAPS IN MISERY. ONLY YOU KNOW IF YOU'LL BE TOGETHER TONIGHT.

cause every night i'll be with you. cause every night i stay awake and dream...but every night, it just stays the same in my DREAM OF AN ABSOLUTION ------

and you'll see all you can be...cause everynight...! I will DREAM!

(One serving of Pwnage of self coming right up. Fries on the side? Take away? That'll be many sleepless nights, and random ramblings! Enjoy, and thank you! Come again!)

[PS MSCATH = Comments enabled for anyone. Spam away, matey, and scourge the seven seas!]

Wheeeeeeeeeee!

Like, dude, new post for no reason!

Okay, so I was googling up my name...yesh, I'm that perasanted. Wakakakaka.

Well, so, my name pops up in blogs only. Dunno whether that's a good thing. But hey, my name pwns. YaRly.

Wheeeeeeee~~~~people write so many good things about me! =)
I should write good things about people! =)
....Never! =D

Okay, maybe I'll jot down a few notes on a few awesome people. Later. Or now. Nah, later.

I wish I had learnt Mandarin when I had the chance. I feel so lame, being able to speak only English. Pah. I'm a disgrace! Saya ialah...disgrace!

Bah. Humbug.

Och, nae, the interwebs is so empty to me right now. Soph + MsKat + Siblinghood are at worship retreat. And MiscPeople just don't come online at all. =(
Roanne am cry

Oh well. I need to go bathe. Wooooosh! WAY AND AWAY! FAREWELL, HUMANS! I'LL BE BACK!

Oho, I'm alive!

Hark, a post! And written for the sake of a certain Miss Catherine...

Indeed, I live! It may have been almost 2 months since I last posted, but bebother and confusticate time.

School. is. tiring. Like. Really. Tiring.

I mean, reeeallly......I don't get bucketloads of homework every night, but I do wish I didn't have so many things due....

Like tomorrow, I have an English essay thinggy due, and also my Religion Outcome has to be done. Note: Religion Outcome is similar to an essay or an exam, and I haven't even begun my notes on it.

I'm doomed.

I'll be doing tomorrow's outcome on plastic surgery. Or self-perception. Both, really.

You don't really care about my homework, do you?

Nevermind. I shall end this post with various notes.

Note #1: Never ever ever ever read "Maestro" by Peter Goldsworthy. I have to read it for English. And I hate the book. Sex scenes galore, occasional swearing, and just plain stupidity all in this book.

Note #2: I can't wait for my Anberlin CDs to arrive! Phweeeee! Anberlin FOR THE WIN!

Note #3: Google is useless when searching for generic and common terms, e.g. chocolate, maestro, etc.

Note #4: Rawr. Miss you. Rawr. Hugs! I love you all thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much. Bya bya

Rawr

I want to update my blog....

.....but I am oh-so-lazy. =)

(Sorry, Soph)

Korowa is scary. =(

Exams are scary. =(

I don't like scary. =(

Blackouts are scary. =(

Lack of electricity is scary. =(

Lack of cold air is scary. =(

I don't like Australian weather. =(

Hugs, however, aren't scary and are awesome. So = give yourself a hug! <3>

And if you don't, I'll give you one! <3

And even if you do give yourself a hug, I'll give you another one! <3

Whee, I love you all!

Tuesday was awesome. I love my friends. Major huggies to all of you.

I'm gonna miss all you guys so much. In one hour, it'll be 12, midnight. And then it will be my last full day in Malaysia.

It only hit me today, during the afternoon, that things can't really be the same. I mean. Some people have to be spoken to in real life, or it'll be boring.

I don't like change. Whenever people ask me what my worst fear is, I'd reply with "change". Change is something so unpredictable. You can't like it, it's just not possible.

You don't know what's gonna happen. You don't know whether this "change" is for better or for worse. You don't know anything. It's just one big empty void right now. And the moment you take a step into it, you see everything. And you're frightened.

You're frightened of how you're gonna fit into your environment. You don't know whether people will like you. You're worried about every single detail. Why? Because you don't know anything.

Change is one huge mess. But then...change doesn't have to be scary. As long as you have people by your side.

"I've got your back if you've got my hand."

That's my motto. That's my way of life. Well, one of my many "ways of life". If you stand by my side and guide me through problems, I'll be right behind you, pushing you forward.

And I do have people holding my hand. Many of them. Friends from a long time ago = Sarah, Nina, Grace, Zoe, Vonn. Friends from just maybe a year or two = Brandon, Julian, Sophira, Benedict, Jon Roberts, Josh. And newly made friends who still mean the world to me = Kelvin, Shoon Fai.
And this isn't including everyone who I'd like to list. One person who comes to mind as a real helper, a person I can talk philosophically with, a friend who I can connect to, in jest, in problems, in everything = Miss Catherine.

Sarah's another amazing friend. Scary, very scary at times. But hey, she's always there to knock common sense into me. "roaaaanne, he's not good enough for you"

Nina's another person. We've argued so much about pretty much everything. And now, when we talk, all we talk about is our future and dreams. Something that's so important. "Yeah, let's conquer the world. I want America!"

And Soph. Come on, you were expecting this, weren't you? Pretty much everyone thinks we're best friends. And maybe we are. I don't know. But what I know is that she's someone who I'll keep for a long time. "You can be shy person who wants to dominate the world what. [soft voice] mwehe, I want world domination, mwehe"

And Roberts? MOST HUGABLE PERSON EVAR! He's like a giant teddybear! And I love teddybears! He's a real awesome bloke. Gah, I wanna hug him one more time. His lame humor is always what I need to cheer myself up. If I'm feeling down, I would just have to talk to him and I'll smile again. Something about his disposition, his cheeriness, his kindness really puts a smile on my face. And come on, who can't love his lameness? "hunting with the fox for the hound..."

I guess I could go on and on. In fact, I already have. But everything I have to say can be summed up in these words = I have found True Friends and they are RIGHT BESIDE ME

On Tuesday, during the farewell gathering, I had to go home earlier, at 6:30. I was in Soph's room alone, transferring the pictures. Roberts came in and went, "Roanne, you're leaving? How can you leave now? I mean, what kind of farewell is it if you're not here?"
There was something in his voice that made him sound almost miserable. It made me even sadder that I had to leave.
Later, when ALL OF US, went down to greet my dad, I couldn't help but feel loved. They were all there for ME! They were all walking with me to ask my dad to let me stay longer. They were all awesome.

Brandon once said something really awesome about me. "Even though she's far away, she's still our little mei mei."

I could say the same for everyone here. Even though you're not sitting next to me right now, even though we're not talking right now, you're still holding my hand.

And so, this might be my last blog post made in Malaysia. But if that's the case, then so be it. Because it doesn't matter where I write. What matters is what I write. It's still written by me, Roanne Lau the Great. Roanne Lau, the little milo-drinking girl with a penchant for hugging, the midget whose best friend is her laptop and her true love her good download rates [I kid, I kid], the person who is holding your hand. Yes, yours. No, not you, creepy stalker reading this random blog.

Thank you for everything. Thank you, I love you all, God bless. Remember, look to the sky and you'll see me! We all share the same sun and sky, no matter where we are. And lastly....HUG!