Merry Christmas!
Went to the city with family. Drank a drink called "Dancing Violets". It's rose, violet, syrup, and ice. It tasted like perfume. I might die of poisoning soon. D=
Had a beeeeaauutiifulll walk through the city. Like, fantastic. Scenic. Gorgeous.
Happy birthday, Jesus. <3 Though I actually believe You're born in spring, heh, happy birthday in case it is your birthday! Nowhere in the Bible does it say 25 December, does it?
Rachel bought me a guitar book. Awesome possum, man. <3 her.
So, yes, Merry Christmas.
Hugs all around!
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Sunday, December 16, 2007
....I'M A LOUSY BLOG UPDATER, OKAY, I KNOW IT.
BAH
SHUT UP
>:(
Trying to be productive. Not succeeding.
My left index finger is swollen. I dunno why. It might be a really really big mosquito bite, which is likely since it's kinda itchy, or a spider bit me and the poison is a slow-working venom that'll render me a lifeless vegetable by the end of the week.
Bring it on, spidey.
It's really swollen though. Can't play the guitar :(
BAH
SHUT UP
>:(
Trying to be productive. Not succeeding.
My left index finger is swollen. I dunno why. It might be a really really big mosquito bite, which is likely since it's kinda itchy, or a spider bit me and the poison is a slow-working venom that'll render me a lifeless vegetable by the end of the week.
Bring it on, spidey.
It's really swollen though. Can't play the guitar :(
Friday, November 23, 2007
bah humbug
happy birthday Rachel. even though it doesn't feel like it, happy birthday.
now please stop crying.
now please stop crying.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
my history teacher says I write beautifully. WHY DOESN'T MY ENGLISH TEACHER THINK THAT TOO???? :(
I'm going to get glasses. the eye doctah said that my eye power is low, but i should get glasses to avoid straining. Woohoo, low power ftw! Hah, you'd think with all my computer/book usage, I'd be as blind as a bat. but nay, I am awesome.
Three more exams.
Shalalala! The science exam today was darn easy. the maths was not. :(:( I thought I was prepared...BUT I WASN'T! Oh gosh I hate myself.
:(:( sad panda.
it's 11:43, I've only covered 10% of what I need for my history exam tomorrow. aw, shucks.
so yes. pray. :)
Can't wait for exams to finish..then PS3 FIASTA!!!! SHALALALA IN THE MOOORNING!
I'm going to get glasses. the eye doctah said that my eye power is low, but i should get glasses to avoid straining. Woohoo, low power ftw! Hah, you'd think with all my computer/book usage, I'd be as blind as a bat. but nay, I am awesome.
Three more exams.
Shalalala! The science exam today was darn easy. the maths was not. :(:( I thought I was prepared...BUT I WASN'T! Oh gosh I hate myself.
:(:( sad panda.
it's 11:43, I've only covered 10% of what I need for my history exam tomorrow. aw, shucks.
so yes. pray. :)
Can't wait for exams to finish..then PS3 FIASTA!!!! SHALALALA IN THE MOOORNING!
Sunday, November 18, 2007
panic attack, and dance inside
exams start tomorrow. English and VisCom tomorrow.
pray for me? I need all the well-wishing I can get to boost my confidence. I can't afford to do badly.
i'm worried. very worried. I have a feeling I'm going to do crap in English. Essays and all that: I suck at them.
I'm frankly not stressed, but I'm just worried about the end-result. can't afford to get below a B. on any subject (save for PE, cause I'm going to fail that anyway :D)
wishing you were all here :(
Oh, and the Chronicles of Narnia game camera SUCKS.
that is all.
pray for me? I need all the well-wishing I can get to boost my confidence. I can't afford to do badly.
i'm worried. very worried. I have a feeling I'm going to do crap in English. Essays and all that: I suck at them.
I'm frankly not stressed, but I'm just worried about the end-result. can't afford to get below a B. on any subject (save for PE, cause I'm going to fail that anyway :D)
wishing you were all here :(
Oh, and the Chronicles of Narnia game camera SUCKS.
that is all.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
zomg, JOY TO THE WORLD!
I love my dad. He just suddenly set up the PS3 last night, and I was hyperventilating all the way.
I thought he didn't buy me any games...but he did. 2 games.
1) Chronicles of Narnia. I don't know why he bought that since it wasn't on my list, but that's cool. I loved the book and the movie. Heard the game was crap, but I don't care. We played through a bit of the beginning, and I ran out of time and died already. ~_~ The gameplay is like a messier version of KH. Buttonmashing and all that jazz.
Oh, and to open doors in the game, you need to bash it about 4 times before it breaks down. My dad was like, "Why can't he just open them..." lololololol
2) Kingdom Hearts: Final Mix. ZOMG! Why is the Final Mix more special than the normal KH? This game has new scenes, a new secret ending, new enemies, new abilities, new weapons, fixed camera and new bosses. Oh, yes, happy face happy face!
Old Pop wouldn't let me play through it. I have to study first. Haih. But we popped the disc in to test it. When the Dearly Beloved song came on, my sister was all, "HEY! YOU PLAY THAT ON THE PIANO! ZOMG!"
And yes. Both of these games are original. OMG! The KH:FM is second-hand, but in really good condition. No scratches, the booklet that's in the case (it has lyrics to Simple and Clean, some character profiles, a bit of concept art, and some other stuff in it) is still perfect, and it all works like a dream. The CoN game is brand-new, and costed Old Pop only 10AUD. He bought it in Taiwan lah.
Now...the bad news. Both games are in Japanese. ~_~_~_~_~_~ Which is actually really funny to listen CoN in Jap. "PETAROOOO! SHINJIKI NO MEZAKITTU EDMONDU!" And KH is fine lah. I already know the story, and can always refer to walkthroughs to explain things to me. Also, maybe I'll learn some Jap from this! =O Awesome blossom.
My dad can read some Japanese. I was so surprised. I was playin CoN, and he just read off some of the instructions that were floating at the bottom of the screen for me. And I was all "Waaahhh?" And then he explained that Japanese and Chinese are really similar.
Time to learn Chinese!
Oh, and the PS3 is really beautiful. HD is gorgeous. My dad said that it was "really sharp, lah". I was just hyperventilating all the way.
Oh, and the controller is wireless. It's fantastic. I ran all around the house, testing whether the controller can still be sensed that far away, and it worked everywhere. Go, Sony, go!!!!
I'll take pics. Eventually. If you all ask nicely. =) Hahaha, nah, after my exams or something...that is, if I don't get stuck playing the PS3 forever and ever!
Now, I have to ask Old Pop to get Okami! <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Edit: It seems that KH:FM is English spoken dialogue, but Japanese writing. Score! =)
I thought he didn't buy me any games...but he did. 2 games.
1) Chronicles of Narnia. I don't know why he bought that since it wasn't on my list, but that's cool. I loved the book and the movie. Heard the game was crap, but I don't care. We played through a bit of the beginning, and I ran out of time and died already. ~_~ The gameplay is like a messier version of KH. Buttonmashing and all that jazz.
Oh, and to open doors in the game, you need to bash it about 4 times before it breaks down. My dad was like, "Why can't he just open them..." lololololol
2) Kingdom Hearts: Final Mix. ZOMG! Why is the Final Mix more special than the normal KH? This game has new scenes, a new secret ending, new enemies, new abilities, new weapons, fixed camera and new bosses. Oh, yes, happy face happy face!
Old Pop wouldn't let me play through it. I have to study first. Haih. But we popped the disc in to test it. When the Dearly Beloved song came on, my sister was all, "HEY! YOU PLAY THAT ON THE PIANO! ZOMG!"
And yes. Both of these games are original. OMG! The KH:FM is second-hand, but in really good condition. No scratches, the booklet that's in the case (it has lyrics to Simple and Clean, some character profiles, a bit of concept art, and some other stuff in it) is still perfect, and it all works like a dream. The CoN game is brand-new, and costed Old Pop only 10AUD. He bought it in Taiwan lah.
Now...the bad news. Both games are in Japanese. ~_~_~_~_~_~ Which is actually really funny to listen CoN in Jap. "PETAROOOO! SHINJIKI NO MEZAKITTU EDMONDU!" And KH is fine lah. I already know the story, and can always refer to walkthroughs to explain things to me. Also, maybe I'll learn some Jap from this! =O Awesome blossom.
My dad can read some Japanese. I was so surprised. I was playin CoN, and he just read off some of the instructions that were floating at the bottom of the screen for me. And I was all "Waaahhh?" And then he explained that Japanese and Chinese are really similar.
Time to learn Chinese!
Oh, and the PS3 is really beautiful. HD is gorgeous. My dad said that it was "really sharp, lah". I was just hyperventilating all the way.
Oh, and the controller is wireless. It's fantastic. I ran all around the house, testing whether the controller can still be sensed that far away, and it worked everywhere. Go, Sony, go!!!!
I'll take pics. Eventually. If you all ask nicely. =) Hahaha, nah, after my exams or something...that is, if I don't get stuck playing the PS3 forever and ever!
Now, I have to ask Old Pop to get Okami! <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Edit: It seems that KH:FM is English spoken dialogue, but Japanese writing. Score! =)
Friday, November 16, 2007
Heaven's in front of me
It's sitting there. In front of me. The image of sheer perfection is sitting in front of me. Oh, look at it. It's so beautiful. A wee bit on the large side, but it's what's inside that counts. Oh, inside's a treasure worth more than I have in my wallet (999AUD to be exact). It's tempting, it's too good to be true.
I can't wait to hold it. To see it. To jump around it in circles, chanting verses of praise and happiness. Oh glorious glory, wondrous wonder.
But I mustn't. I can't. I must wait. Now is not the time.
But once I'm done with my exam preparations...
Why harlo thar, you sexy thing. My name's Roanne. What's yours? Pardon, what was that? Oh, such a charming name. Playstation 3, you say? Nice to meet you. It's destiny for us to meet, I bet.
I can't wait to hold it. To see it. To jump around it in circles, chanting verses of praise and happiness. Oh glorious glory, wondrous wonder.
But I mustn't. I can't. I must wait. Now is not the time.
But once I'm done with my exam preparations...
Why harlo thar, you sexy thing. My name's Roanne. What's yours? Pardon, what was that? Oh, such a charming name. Playstation 3, you say? Nice to meet you. It's destiny for us to meet, I bet.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
nostalgia era
I suddenly want to play FF8 again. Nostalgia. I mean, it's actually not really that bad of a game. It's the first game to really make me feel something. In this case, it's fear. My gosh, Ultimecia and the whole time compression thing scared me so much I couldn't sleep at night. And the music. Oh gosh, the Fithos Lusec Wecos Vinosec chant frightened me for ages and I would always put mute on whenever that song played.
It's clearly suckier than FF9. But I still remember FF9 clearly. So no real nostalgia there. FF8 is where the nostalgia is at.
Actually, if I mentally Photoshop out Rinoa, the game is 2000 times better. I suppose I could do that. It's not like I even used her in battle. Haha, sucker.
Man, I really want to play it again. Some of the music, except for FLWV, was so awesome. Like Eyes on Me. WHY LIE, IT'S AWESOME. EVEN MY DAD LIKES IT. THOUGH ACTUALLY, HE LIKES IT BECAUSE OF FAYE WONG, NOT FF8. SO NVM.
And also, Selphia, Irvine, and Laguna are awesome. LAGOOONNAAAAAAA! <3
Oh, and Channel Ten has started replaying old Futurama episodes they showed just, like, ONE MONTH AGO. what the heck. Come on lah. There's so many of seasons of Futurama, yet they already start doing replays? Rubbish lah. RUBBISH! Futurama is awesome, but honestly just show me new stuff. Jerks.
Pray for my exams. I'm going to get really bad marks on English, but pass Maths with flying colors. Why? I don't know. I suddenly rock at maths and suck at writing essays. Oh gosh, this is horrible. I need AT LEAST a B+ in English or else my subjects for next year are screwed. SCREWED.
Currently listening to remixes of game music, anxiously wanting for dad to come home tomorrow with PS3, writing notes for my Systems subject, panicking about my upcoming exams that start on Monday, and drinking lovely lemonade. Who wouldn't want to be me?
It's clearly suckier than FF9. But I still remember FF9 clearly. So no real nostalgia there. FF8 is where the nostalgia is at.
Actually, if I mentally Photoshop out Rinoa, the game is 2000 times better. I suppose I could do that. It's not like I even used her in battle. Haha, sucker.
Man, I really want to play it again. Some of the music, except for FLWV, was so awesome. Like Eyes on Me. WHY LIE, IT'S AWESOME. EVEN MY DAD LIKES IT. THOUGH ACTUALLY, HE LIKES IT BECAUSE OF FAYE WONG, NOT FF8. SO NVM.
And also, Selphia, Irvine, and Laguna are awesome. LAGOOONNAAAAAAA! <3
Oh, and Channel Ten has started replaying old Futurama episodes they showed just, like, ONE MONTH AGO. what the heck. Come on lah. There's so many of seasons of Futurama, yet they already start doing replays? Rubbish lah. RUBBISH! Futurama is awesome, but honestly just show me new stuff. Jerks.
Pray for my exams. I'm going to get really bad marks on English, but pass Maths with flying colors. Why? I don't know. I suddenly rock at maths and suck at writing essays. Oh gosh, this is horrible. I need AT LEAST a B+ in English or else my subjects for next year are screwed. SCREWED.
Currently listening to remixes of game music, anxiously wanting for dad to come home tomorrow with PS3, writing notes for my Systems subject, panicking about my upcoming exams that start on Monday, and drinking lovely lemonade. Who wouldn't want to be me?
Sunday, November 04, 2007
okay you can stop looking yucky now
my fingers are starting to look disgusting. i might be over-practicing the guitar, if that's even possible.
they look like old prunes with funky white stuff on it.
yuck.
i'd post a picture so you guys could see what i'm talking about, but it might induce vomitting. so i won't.
on the plus side = massively improving guitar playing. Still suck massively, but improving. HIGH FIVE ME, WORLD!
they look like old prunes with funky white stuff on it.
yuck.
i'd post a picture so you guys could see what i'm talking about, but it might induce vomitting. so i won't.
on the plus side = massively improving guitar playing. Still suck massively, but improving. HIGH FIVE ME, WORLD!
Saturday, November 03, 2007
okelly-dokelly-doooooo
today was an...interesting day. don't want to post about it. too lazy lah. haih.
hahah. did you know my school has a counselor? i had no idea she existed. =O!
my fingers have officially blistered from playing the guitar. I AM SO HAPPY AND PROUD! WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS MY SHEER JOY! My sissy fingers are starting man up and get tough. Boo-freaking-yaka!
Playing the guitar no longer hurts as much. and I'm get better at holding the strings properly. Smile smile smile happy happy happy.
I still suck at it though. Same with the piano. NVM. I still have fun. That's alllll that matters.
hahah. did you know my school has a counselor? i had no idea she existed. =O!
my fingers have officially blistered from playing the guitar. I AM SO HAPPY AND PROUD! WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS MY SHEER JOY! My sissy fingers are starting man up and get tough. Boo-freaking-yaka!
Playing the guitar no longer hurts as much. and I'm get better at holding the strings properly. Smile smile smile happy happy happy.
I still suck at it though. Same with the piano. NVM. I still have fun. That's alllll that matters.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
I HATE BLOGGER
I HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGER
I HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGER
I HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGER
I HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGER
I HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGER
I HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGER
...I love being a Christian, Kudos to Julian, tango Satan, blah blah blah.
I HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGER
I HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGER
I HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGER
I HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGER
I HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGER
I HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGER
I HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGER
I HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGER
...I love being a Christian, Kudos to Julian, tango Satan, blah blah blah.
I HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGER
I HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGER
I HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGERI HATE BLOGGER
Thursday, October 25, 2007
the bubbles on top of my milo looks so pretty....
Fudge it. I typed out a long post and got it deleted by accident. Fudge.
I am completely healthy. Just need to relax and rest more.
3 happy things today
I am completely healthy. Just need to relax and rest more.
3 happy things today
- I am completely healthy. HAHA TO YOU, DIABETES!
- Milo + cereal squares = love
- Almost mastered D chord on guitar. just need to press a little harder to stop buzzing.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
I have a something to confess. It's kind of a secret I've been keeping to myself for some time...frankly, I was a little ashamed of myself. I mean, I never thought I would...feel this way. But I've come to terms with it. So I shall share it with you guys.
I love Phil Collins's music. =O
I know. I know. "OMG YOU LIKE OLD MEN SONGS AHHA SUCKER"
But it's not MY fault he makes such awesome songs. Harumph. So many classics from this awesome man. So many original ands covers that I love.
My mama said
You cant hurry love
No, you'll just have to wait
She said love don't come easy
It's a game of give and take...
I love Phil Collins's music. =O
I know. I know. "OMG YOU LIKE OLD MEN SONGS AHHA SUCKER"
But it's not MY fault he makes such awesome songs. Harumph. So many classics from this awesome man. So many original ands covers that I love.
My mama said
You cant hurry love
No, you'll just have to wait
She said love don't come easy
It's a game of give and take...
Monday, October 22, 2007
Ladies and gentlemen, I've made a record today. I took - guess how long - to shower today. Take a guess. My usual one hour? No. 40 minutes? Nope. 30? Nah. 15? YES!
Yes, I somehow managed to take only 15 minutes to shower today. That's only...1/4 of my usual showering time. Someone high five me and my awesomeness.
It's getting hotter here. Right now, since it's nighttime, it's a nice coolish-warm temperature. But earlier in the afternoon, it was drier and warmer. Ick.
I'll get my blood test results back on Thursday. I dunno whether I'm hoping that it's all ok, or there's something wrong.
PROS of the day:
Yes, I somehow managed to take only 15 minutes to shower today. That's only...1/4 of my usual showering time. Someone high five me and my awesomeness.
It's getting hotter here. Right now, since it's nighttime, it's a nice coolish-warm temperature. But earlier in the afternoon, it was drier and warmer. Ick.
I'll get my blood test results back on Thursday. I dunno whether I'm hoping that it's all ok, or there's something wrong.
PROS of the day:
- 15 MINUTES!
- Not so cold
- I think - think - my old pop bought me a PS3 today! Cause he called me, and asked me what our TV brand was. He wanted to see whether he should buy the additional cables for the PS3 for HDMI thinggy-winggy. I am so pathetic when it comes to HDTV or whateverHDMIisrelatedto.
- Went for a good walk with Rachel in the park today. Doggies everywhere! Yay! One doggy came up to me and licked my hand, and was so friendly and happy, and jumped on me. <3
CONS of the day:
- Kinda hot. :(
- School tomorrow
- My laptop is dying. My faithful, trustworthy baby has been getting more and more errors and problems lately. Yesterday, the screen suddenly went black. Then, white, green and red pixels begin slowly and steadily appearing. It was kinda cool looking actually, but it freaked me out. My laptop is already nearing 4 years old, so I'm quite proud of its life and its service. All hail my great laptop. It deserves to finally rest. The problem, however, is me getting another laptop...old pop wouldn't like dishing out extra cash after buying me a PS3. :(
- School tomorrow
- School tomorrow
- School tomorrow
Goodnight.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
I feel constantly tired. Every morning I wake up, instead of feeling refreshed, I feel like I've carried over yesterday's baggage. Everything I do just makes it worse. Everything I don't do makes it worse.
I feel so tired so often. Not every day. Some days I'm okay. But for the past few months, it's more often that I feel so fatigued than me feeling energetic. Nothing wakes me up. Loud music, my favorite show, playing the piano, going for a jog. Not even sugar.
I really am to tired to do anything. Even just thinking makes me tired. Talking soothes me a bit, but I always need a reprieve soon after that. Studying is just so hard. I find my mind wandering, and I can't concentrate on anything. It takes me hours to do something that sould only take 15 minutes.
I don't know what's wrong with me. Rachel's going to take me to the doctor tomorrow to see what she (yay for female doctors) says. I have a feeling she's just going to say that I need to sleep more. Or eat healthier. Or something that I already am trying to do.
This will sound stupid, but I want the doctor to diagnose something more serious. Like anemia. Or diabetes (which I'm actually at risk of getting since my grandpop has it). Or even depression. Anything. Cause then I'll know I'm not just a pathetic loser.
I really hate this. Whatever this is. I lie down to rest for just a few seconds, rise up and realize that hours has passed. And I'm still tired.
My sleep is always heavy, yet disturbed. No noise can wake me up, but I just find myself waking up constantly in the middle of night for no reason. No nightmares, no noises, nothing. I just wake up for no reason.
Typing is easy though. Hahahah. Like second nature already.
Time really depresses me. It passes so quickly, yet I never seem to get anywhere during it. I'm reading a passage, and takes me five minutes just to finish a sentence. My sleeping hours just seem so short. Despite the fact that I often lie in for, like, 12 hours on the weekends. It doesn't seem enough.
I have so little motivation to do anything. Most of what I do is either a necessity, or because I'm forcing myself to. I'm just too tired to want anything.
I never had headaches before this year. Seriously. I was so awesome that way. :) But this year, especially in the past few months, I've been getting them more frequently. I just want them to go away.
I'm just so tired. I really miss my dad nowadays. I don't know...I just wish he was here. He use to sing me a lullaby before I sleep. Chinese lullaby. Hah...it was kinda funny, but peaceful at the same time. I never once fell asleep while he was singing though. It wasn't sleep-inducing. It just calmed me and told me that he was there.
I want to sleep. I want to cry. I want to laugh. All at the same time. I don't know what's wrong with me. Hopefully, the doctor tomorrow will.
I feel so tired so often. Not every day. Some days I'm okay. But for the past few months, it's more often that I feel so fatigued than me feeling energetic. Nothing wakes me up. Loud music, my favorite show, playing the piano, going for a jog. Not even sugar.
I really am to tired to do anything. Even just thinking makes me tired. Talking soothes me a bit, but I always need a reprieve soon after that. Studying is just so hard. I find my mind wandering, and I can't concentrate on anything. It takes me hours to do something that sould only take 15 minutes.
I don't know what's wrong with me. Rachel's going to take me to the doctor tomorrow to see what she (yay for female doctors) says. I have a feeling she's just going to say that I need to sleep more. Or eat healthier. Or something that I already am trying to do.
This will sound stupid, but I want the doctor to diagnose something more serious. Like anemia. Or diabetes (which I'm actually at risk of getting since my grandpop has it). Or even depression. Anything. Cause then I'll know I'm not just a pathetic loser.
I really hate this. Whatever this is. I lie down to rest for just a few seconds, rise up and realize that hours has passed. And I'm still tired.
My sleep is always heavy, yet disturbed. No noise can wake me up, but I just find myself waking up constantly in the middle of night for no reason. No nightmares, no noises, nothing. I just wake up for no reason.
Typing is easy though. Hahahah. Like second nature already.
Time really depresses me. It passes so quickly, yet I never seem to get anywhere during it. I'm reading a passage, and takes me five minutes just to finish a sentence. My sleeping hours just seem so short. Despite the fact that I often lie in for, like, 12 hours on the weekends. It doesn't seem enough.
I have so little motivation to do anything. Most of what I do is either a necessity, or because I'm forcing myself to. I'm just too tired to want anything.
I never had headaches before this year. Seriously. I was so awesome that way. :) But this year, especially in the past few months, I've been getting them more frequently. I just want them to go away.
I'm just so tired. I really miss my dad nowadays. I don't know...I just wish he was here. He use to sing me a lullaby before I sleep. Chinese lullaby. Hah...it was kinda funny, but peaceful at the same time. I never once fell asleep while he was singing though. It wasn't sleep-inducing. It just calmed me and told me that he was there.
I want to sleep. I want to cry. I want to laugh. All at the same time. I don't know what's wrong with me. Hopefully, the doctor tomorrow will.
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
F.I.R. IS AWESOME!
WO DE WEI XIAO NI MING BAI JIU HEN HAO.
...:)
(oh gosh i'm lame)
I think my dad likes this band also, cause I remember hearing him play some songs before. I think.
Maybe I can persuade him to buy the CDs. He probably will agree anyway...he approves of me learning Chinese in any way possible. Heheheheheheheheh.
WO YAO FEI
WHEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
~~~high on life~~~
WO DE WEI XIAO NI MING BAI JIU HEN HAO.
...:)
(oh gosh i'm lame)
I think my dad likes this band also, cause I remember hearing him play some songs before. I think.
Maybe I can persuade him to buy the CDs. He probably will agree anyway...he approves of me learning Chinese in any way possible. Heheheheheheheheh.
WO YAO FEI
WHEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
~~~high on life~~~
Monday, October 01, 2007
okay, I have no idea how to add a freaking shoutbox
the tutorial thinggy (http://www.shoutmix.com/main/help.php?view=Guides/blogger) says some rubbish about page elements. But I don't get that page. It brings me to the Edit Html page instead.
WHAT DO I DO, GUYS?
the tutorial thinggy (http://www.shoutmix.com/main/help.php?view=Guides/blogger) says some rubbish about page elements. But I don't get that page. It brings me to the Edit Html page instead.
WHAT DO I DO, GUYS?
regrettable paris
I hate checking people's blogs. I really hate it. I hate reading all the posts, long or short, and seeing the pictures. Especially the pictures.
a
Every post that details what happened during the day and every picture that shows what happened is a spoonful of misery for me.
No, nothing bad happened today. Everything went jolly fine, in fact. Mom didn't nag, Mom and Rachel didn't argue, I managed to get some work done, I cleaned up my laptop a bit, had fun on the piano, the whole nine yards. I'm not even listening to emo music. Unless you somehow think disco music is emo. In which case, you suck.
But reading the blogs...made me mournful.
Change.
change.
changE
cHANGe.
In all forms, in all styles, the word scares me. The very thought of it frightens me. I use to be afraid of it affecting me. Now, not so much.
But change that occurs without me being there to witness it...that is my new fear.
I miss everyone. I miss Nina. She's gone to Idaho now. Who the heck lives in Idaho. I forgot it was even a state. Now I just have to meet a person from Wyoming, and I can die peacefully. Somewhat.
Aunty Sharon got married! Good Lord, MARRIED. About time. She looked so pretty...in the photos.
So many things. So many changes. Weddings, farewells, birthdays, everything. And I'm not there to see it happen.
Even for people I don't know. Who I don't know because I'm not there.
Haha, mock emo post. It sounds a lot more emo than I really am.
But yeah, a lot of regrets. Moments of regrets snowballing into a lifetime of regret. Lost opportunities, bad choices and mistakes, broken dreams and hopes. Already at fourteen, the realization of half-failure and half-victory has sunken in. I will not achieve all of my dreams. I have lost many golden, shining opportunities for me to bloom and blossom. I lie here, now, pondering as to what to do.
One door shuts, another opens. But I must switch off the TV, get off the couch, and make my way towards the door before anything can happen.
I have so many dreams and wishes. And I, with my own foul choices, have broken so many of them. It is too late to fix them.
Now, this is an emo post. Bah.
On the brighter side, I'm trying to add a shoutbox. Wait up, people, and get ready to chat away in a wee-little box!
a
Every post that details what happened during the day and every picture that shows what happened is a spoonful of misery for me.
No, nothing bad happened today. Everything went jolly fine, in fact. Mom didn't nag, Mom and Rachel didn't argue, I managed to get some work done, I cleaned up my laptop a bit, had fun on the piano, the whole nine yards. I'm not even listening to emo music. Unless you somehow think disco music is emo. In which case, you suck.
But reading the blogs...made me mournful.
Change.
change.
changE
cHANGe.
In all forms, in all styles, the word scares me. The very thought of it frightens me. I use to be afraid of it affecting me. Now, not so much.
But change that occurs without me being there to witness it...that is my new fear.
I miss everyone. I miss Nina. She's gone to Idaho now. Who the heck lives in Idaho. I forgot it was even a state. Now I just have to meet a person from Wyoming, and I can die peacefully. Somewhat.
Aunty Sharon got married! Good Lord, MARRIED. About time. She looked so pretty...in the photos.
So many things. So many changes. Weddings, farewells, birthdays, everything. And I'm not there to see it happen.
Even for people I don't know. Who I don't know because I'm not there.
Haha, mock emo post. It sounds a lot more emo than I really am.
But yeah, a lot of regrets. Moments of regrets snowballing into a lifetime of regret. Lost opportunities, bad choices and mistakes, broken dreams and hopes. Already at fourteen, the realization of half-failure and half-victory has sunken in. I will not achieve all of my dreams. I have lost many golden, shining opportunities for me to bloom and blossom. I lie here, now, pondering as to what to do.
One door shuts, another opens. But I must switch off the TV, get off the couch, and make my way towards the door before anything can happen.
I have so many dreams and wishes. And I, with my own foul choices, have broken so many of them. It is too late to fix them.
Now, this is an emo post. Bah.
On the brighter side, I'm trying to add a shoutbox. Wait up, people, and get ready to chat away in a wee-little box!
Sunday, September 16, 2007
gah
stress la wei.
~_~
all my teachers decided to make this coming week the DUE DATE WEEK for everything. I got a history oral presentation + history essay to pass up tomorrow, science test tomorrow, Systems oral presentation + brochure on tuesday, and geography powerpoint/movie thing on Wednesday.
WHY??????????
I really am doomed lah. I need another 500 more words for my history essay. WHICH IS DUE TOMORROW. I think I can manage to finish it tonight lah, if I cram a bit. But then I'll have no time for my Science revision. and there an entire section of Science that I have not read at all, thus have no idea about. I AM SCREWED
God help me. aiyo, aiyo, aiyo, AIYOOOOOO! STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
:( Okay, I need to vent now lah. After this blogpost, I continue studying then. CAUSE I'M SUCH A GOOD, HARD-WORKING GIRL. WHOSE PARENTS DON'T APPRECIATE.
bah. i'm cranky right now.
On Friday, I got my math's test result back. I got an A. It's the best result in Maths i ever got. I'm more of a C student in maths. So I was reaallly happy, you know...cause C to A is a nifty jump. My mom found out, and then asked me what my percentage was.
"80%"
"80% only??? ~_~"
Gah. I know it's not the best mark that I could've gotten, and that I should've studied harder. BUT STILL! "A"! Come on...some credit is in order here. Maths is my worst subject, and my mom can't even congratulate my first A.
Okay, I'll shut up about my grades now.
Two most exxxcellent news. Wait, three.
1) The holidays is coming up! next next week!
2) my birthday is coming up! Monday, first week of holiday! 24th! Did you guys remember? DID YOU???
3) I have only, like, 5-6 more PE lessons. THEN NO MORE FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVEERRRRRR!!! HURRAH! THERE IS A LOVE! THERE IS A HOPE! THERE IS JUSTICE AND FAIRNESS AND AWESOMENESS FOR ONE AND ALL!!!!
Oh, and Soph is back in Malaysia. I feel sad. Very sad. I only managed to see her twice while she was here, but twice was enough to hang out with my old buddy again.
I DEDICATE THIS PORTION OF THIS BLOGPOST TO SOPHIRA CHONG YU FUN.
Sophira Chong. Yu Fun. Scary girl. Very scary. Sometimes you want to poke her in the eye, but you always restrain yourself. Awesome blossom person. Managed to somehow remain sane despite how many times I've ranted and vented to her. Morally strong. No, seriously.
I've never argued with her before. No, wait, I have. But I've never fought with her before. Actually, I haven't fought with anybody for a long time. Haha. But yeah, during the years of our friendship (only two years, right? though we sorta knew each other for longer, we were only close friends for two...), we've disagreed and teased each other peacefully. DO WE ROCK OR DO WE RAWK?
She has awesome shirts. Shoes also. But HOODIE SHIRTS MAN! HOOODIIIEEE! Awesome person to play a piano duet with. Why? Because she somehow makes you laugh despite how panicked and stress you are. (remember our introductory octopus arm wave, and your shirt measuring the keyboard?)
Sometimes you want to strangle her and get her to see your point of view/argument/problem. But in the end, you realize that you should just shut up and that no one cares about your geekly habits anyway.
Sophira Chong. Sophy-pophy. Soph Soph. SOOOOPHEEE. SOAP. lei hai fei zhai. I dunno how to spell lah.
Friend. Ally. Future mother of my future daughter-in-law (REMEMBER THE ARRANGE MARRIAGE AH! WYATT NEEDS A WIFE!). Sister. Stress-rant-bag. Silly-billy-goo-goo. Friend.
/end post dedication.
I should start writing post dedicated to mah friends. Good way to waste time and boost other people's ego.
I'll go one on Nina, Ms Cath, Vonn, Sarah...hmm...and other people lah. Too lazy to list you all. But yes, all of my kor kors and jie jies in the Siblinghood with get a separate post. ALL 6 OF MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS! <3
and then my other friends, who are equally awesome blossom. aiyo. So many. Now blogposting is making me stress. ~_~
Time to go stressing over history essay.
REMEMBER MY BIRTHDAY, YOU HALF-WITS! Hug Hug Hug.
~_~
all my teachers decided to make this coming week the DUE DATE WEEK for everything. I got a history oral presentation + history essay to pass up tomorrow, science test tomorrow, Systems oral presentation + brochure on tuesday, and geography powerpoint/movie thing on Wednesday.
WHY??????????
I really am doomed lah. I need another 500 more words for my history essay. WHICH IS DUE TOMORROW. I think I can manage to finish it tonight lah, if I cram a bit. But then I'll have no time for my Science revision. and there an entire section of Science that I have not read at all, thus have no idea about. I AM SCREWED
God help me. aiyo, aiyo, aiyo, AIYOOOOOO! STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
:( Okay, I need to vent now lah. After this blogpost, I continue studying then. CAUSE I'M SUCH A GOOD, HARD-WORKING GIRL. WHOSE PARENTS DON'T APPRECIATE.
bah. i'm cranky right now.
On Friday, I got my math's test result back. I got an A. It's the best result in Maths i ever got. I'm more of a C student in maths. So I was reaallly happy, you know...cause C to A is a nifty jump. My mom found out, and then asked me what my percentage was.
"80%"
"80% only??? ~_~"
Gah. I know it's not the best mark that I could've gotten, and that I should've studied harder. BUT STILL! "A"! Come on...some credit is in order here. Maths is my worst subject, and my mom can't even congratulate my first A.
Okay, I'll shut up about my grades now.
Two most exxxcellent news. Wait, three.
1) The holidays is coming up! next next week!
2) my birthday is coming up! Monday, first week of holiday! 24th! Did you guys remember? DID YOU???
3) I have only, like, 5-6 more PE lessons. THEN NO MORE FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVEERRRRRR!!! HURRAH! THERE IS A LOVE! THERE IS A HOPE! THERE IS JUSTICE AND FAIRNESS AND AWESOMENESS FOR ONE AND ALL!!!!
Oh, and Soph is back in Malaysia. I feel sad. Very sad. I only managed to see her twice while she was here, but twice was enough to hang out with my old buddy again.
I DEDICATE THIS PORTION OF THIS BLOGPOST TO SOPHIRA CHONG YU FUN.
Sophira Chong. Yu Fun. Scary girl. Very scary. Sometimes you want to poke her in the eye, but you always restrain yourself. Awesome blossom person. Managed to somehow remain sane despite how many times I've ranted and vented to her. Morally strong. No, seriously.
I've never argued with her before. No, wait, I have. But I've never fought with her before. Actually, I haven't fought with anybody for a long time. Haha. But yeah, during the years of our friendship (only two years, right? though we sorta knew each other for longer, we were only close friends for two...), we've disagreed and teased each other peacefully. DO WE ROCK OR DO WE RAWK?
She has awesome shirts. Shoes also. But HOODIE SHIRTS MAN! HOOODIIIEEE! Awesome person to play a piano duet with. Why? Because she somehow makes you laugh despite how panicked and stress you are. (remember our introductory octopus arm wave, and your shirt measuring the keyboard?)
Sometimes you want to strangle her and get her to see your point of view/argument/problem. But in the end, you realize that you should just shut up and that no one cares about your geekly habits anyway.
Sophira Chong. Sophy-pophy. Soph Soph. SOOOOPHEEE. SOAP. lei hai fei zhai. I dunno how to spell lah.
Friend. Ally. Future mother of my future daughter-in-law (REMEMBER THE ARRANGE MARRIAGE AH! WYATT NEEDS A WIFE!). Sister. Stress-rant-bag. Silly-billy-goo-goo. Friend.
/end post dedication.
I should start writing post dedicated to mah friends. Good way to waste time and boost other people's ego.
I'll go one on Nina, Ms Cath, Vonn, Sarah...hmm...and other people lah. Too lazy to list you all. But yes, all of my kor kors and jie jies in the Siblinghood with get a separate post. ALL 6 OF MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS! <3
and then my other friends, who are equally awesome blossom. aiyo. So many. Now blogposting is making me stress. ~_~
Time to go stressing over history essay.
REMEMBER MY BIRTHDAY, YOU HALF-WITS! Hug Hug Hug.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
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