I feel constantly tired. Every morning I wake up, instead of feeling refreshed, I feel like I've carried over yesterday's baggage. Everything I do just makes it worse. Everything I don't do makes it worse.

I feel so tired so often. Not every day. Some days I'm okay. But for the past few months, it's more often that I feel so fatigued than me feeling energetic. Nothing wakes me up. Loud music, my favorite show, playing the piano, going for a jog. Not even sugar.

I really am to tired to do anything. Even just thinking makes me tired. Talking soothes me a bit, but I always need a reprieve soon after that. Studying is just so hard. I find my mind wandering, and I can't concentrate on anything. It takes me hours to do something that sould only take 15 minutes.

I don't know what's wrong with me. Rachel's going to take me to the doctor tomorrow to see what she (yay for female doctors) says. I have a feeling she's just going to say that I need to sleep more. Or eat healthier. Or something that I already am trying to do.

This will sound stupid, but I want the doctor to diagnose something more serious. Like anemia. Or diabetes (which I'm actually at risk of getting since my grandpop has it). Or even depression. Anything. Cause then I'll know I'm not just a pathetic loser.

I really hate this. Whatever this is. I lie down to rest for just a few seconds, rise up and realize that hours has passed. And I'm still tired.

My sleep is always heavy, yet disturbed. No noise can wake me up, but I just find myself waking up constantly in the middle of night for no reason. No nightmares, no noises, nothing. I just wake up for no reason.

Typing is easy though. Hahahah. Like second nature already.

Time really depresses me. It passes so quickly, yet I never seem to get anywhere during it. I'm reading a passage, and takes me five minutes just to finish a sentence. My sleeping hours just seem so short. Despite the fact that I often lie in for, like, 12 hours on the weekends. It doesn't seem enough.

I have so little motivation to do anything. Most of what I do is either a necessity, or because I'm forcing myself to. I'm just too tired to want anything.

I never had headaches before this year. Seriously. I was so awesome that way. :) But this year, especially in the past few months, I've been getting them more frequently. I just want them to go away.

I'm just so tired. I really miss my dad nowadays. I don't know...I just wish he was here. He use to sing me a lullaby before I sleep. Chinese lullaby. Hah...it was kinda funny, but peaceful at the same time. I never once fell asleep while he was singing though. It wasn't sleep-inducing. It just calmed me and told me that he was there.

I want to sleep. I want to cry. I want to laugh. All at the same time. I don't know what's wrong with me. Hopefully, the doctor tomorrow will.