this is the correlation of salvation and love

bleh. feeling crappy.

it's just one of those days where while not EVERYTHING goes wrong, certain things just make your world crumble down pathetically.

i just want to hide under my covers, and never ever wake up. the world is such a scary place. i want to give up so badly.

can i?

please?

hello? hello?
alone. alone.

this is the end of everything I feel. is anyone out there who shares my pain?

depression is an unholy ghost.

is anybody out there? broken promises are left for lesser knowns and lost causes.

i just want to stop the world for a while, lie down in the middle of nowhere, a ROAD, or DISNEYLAND, or the INTERSTATE TOLL, or ANYWHERE, and just do nothing. Everything is passing by in a blur, with me not moving and missing everything: life.

I have a deep longing for life. A longing for life, more of it, like what Christ came to give us. Yet at the same time, a desire for death. a slumber that i can never ever be disturbed from. no alarm clocks to wake me.

i need to rest. I need time. Give me time. Give me hope. Time is hope.

tumbleweeds, darling, define my life. alone alone. hello hello?

I feel out of place. I feel...like a puzzle piece that doesn't belong to this particular picture. I just won't fit.
I don't belong here. Or anywhere, come to think of it. So then, perhaps I am at where I belong?

Anywhere, anywhere...
but anywhere...would be so much better, nicer, easier, lovelier...if you were all by my side. Or I at all your sides. That's where I belong: at the sides of my friends.

I've...got your back if you've got my hand.

Anything - as long as I'm with you guys - is nothing. Anywhere - as long as I'm with you guys - is okay.

But I'm not with you guys.

i need a hug. I need the sun. there's cold frost sweeping in over my heart - freaking weather -

i need to go to youth fellowship again. ~_~
need fellowship. need guidance towards God.

i wish I had some support. some guidance. someone HERE to nudge me along, reprimand my mistakes, praise my accomplishments, advise my situations. someone to hug me and let me know that they've got my back.

who.am.i? why.am.i.here?

hello hello?
alone. ALONE.